I used to be that person that confused sex and love/intimacy. While you can have all with the same person at the same time, that’s not always the case. I was out here being reckless looking for intimacy through sex and never finding it, I kept looking. And searching. And looking.
I’ve never put the reason why I was doing it out there for GenPop to digest, although I’ve told people in one on one conversations in private. I don’t make excuses for my actions because, well, I was a piece of shit of the highest order for that. I was young but that did not give me free license to hurt people the way I did back then. My karma made sure to come through and crush the buildings though.
Having been through that phase in my life and coming to a realization at a pretty young age *I was 18 when I got a slap in the face from the reality god* that has caused me to be cautious in my dealings with women most times. I’ve been called aloof, seemingly uninterested, and other things along those lines. I apologize for that. It’s not you, it’s me most times. I do it to protect both of us.
There’s no real point to this post. It’s the result of a conversation I had this morning with someone I love very much as a person that told me “I don’t feel safe around you because you understand me and I know that you would never abuse my trust. And that makes me want you even more.”
I’ve been where you are right now. I know what it’s like..BELIEVE me. I told that as long as you were trying, I’d be by your side. I haven’t went anywhere, yo. I stepped back to allow you to grow as a person so you can that you CAN do it on your own, especially after all the years of people taking from you and not replenishing. Telling you that you’d never be shit.
I know for a fact that you are the opposite of everything they say.