This Weekend

My aunt is supposed to come home Thursday. I’m supposed to watch the kids *they adopted brother and sister tag team champions a couple years ago* so they can enjoy each other’s company for what WILL be their last New Year’s Eve together.

I’ve come to grips with the fact that she’s tired of fighting and I’m ok with that. It’s selfish of me to think that my feelings matter in this situation, but I’m still human and that’s part of human nature to feel as if YOU matter in ANY situation. Sometimes we don’t, sometimes we do.

Man, my aunt and uncle have been together since she was 16. That’s FORTY YEARS. Seeing them together, especially with what little time she has left, makes me hope that I find someone that loves me always but also has the guts to call me on my bullshit.  Actually, I hope that EVERYONE finds this in life. Especially people that sabotage their own happiness because of their afraid of that unfamiliar feeling of love and dedication to another. That healthy relationship scares them. Trust me, I know from personal experience. I’ve been there.

Look at E being a softy. This happens more often since I stopped being a functional alcoholic and decided to get my life right.  It’s funny because at one point in time, after a SUPER bad relationship and relationship that was ALWAYS on some Badu “Next Lifetime” shit…all I wanted to do was drink, work, and do the sex.

I’m rambling. I need to wrap this up. It will not end well if I keep going.

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